Saturday, September 17, 2016

Narc Pack

NPD. Does anyone know what this is? It's Narcissistic Personality Disorder. It's in the Diagnnostic Statictical Manual (DSM) that shrinks use. It's excessive grandiosity and an inflated sense of self importance, often and usually at the expense of others in their lives. Narcs tend to be abusive - there are thousands of "Narc Abuse" videos online. Narcs will often group up into a Narc Pack in order to collectively abuse victims that they've groomed, other family members and people in the community that they victimize. They do things like making that person or group of people feel worthless so they will do extra work or not ask for things they are supposed to get, or to quasi-legally take things that the other person should get. They don't observe personal or sexual boundaries - often they are sexual abusers and molest children or sleep with other's husbands and wives - one story detailed online about how one mother manipulated her daughter to marry a young man she secretly wanted. She got them to move into her house and proceeded to have a long term affair with her daughter's husband. That sort of thing. The more outrageous, hurtful or outlandish, the bigger a source of "Narcissistic Supply" it is for them. They get off on hurting others - their children, other family members, empolyees, anyone who is vulnerable. When they feel like they can't get any more "supply" from that person, it is time for the Discard phase - they are "done" with them and usually cut them out of their lives. It's usually when the person wises up to what is going on and stops allowing them to hurt them, take advantage of them and so forth. Some Narc Abuse is obvious, but some of it can be so deeply ingrained in families because children are groomed to be their parents victims from day 1, that the person only realizes years later why things "aren't right", why they are depressed and so forth - and why the family situation never seems to change.
Why do people have NPD in the first place? Studies have shown that it's could be a gene defect! It could actually be a heritable trait that gets activated by abuse, deprivation and so forth. That is really sad. You want to believe that the person could heal, but some people are stuck this way for life and really shouldn't have access to anyone who is vulnerable. Worse yet, it can't be healed. People who are afflicted with NPD do not feel that they should change because they enjoy being that way. It's a case of arrested development - their emotions didn't develop fully and instead of feeling love, empathy and so forth, they only know when they are getting attention, like an infant. Bad attention is just as good as positive attention to them, they just seek a large supply of it. That's where the term Narcissistic Supply comes from. They are amoral and their lives are spent hunting for more and more Supply. They usually eventually find a situation where they are "allowed" to do this - a chronic bachelor, someone with a beaten and powerless wife or husband, or a "swinger".
From Wikipedia: "There is evidence that narcissistic personality disorder is heritable, and individuals are much more likely to develop NPD if they have a family history of the disorder.[16][17] Studies on the occurrence of personality disorders in twins determined that there is a moderate to high heritability for narcissistic personality disorder.[17][18] However the specific genes and gene interactions that contribute to its etiology, and how they may influence the developmental and physiological processes underlying this condition, have yet to be determined."
So, there are people who just basiclly...suck as people, and it's inherited? Apparently, yes there are.
There are certain professions which attract Narcs - the Entertainment field is a big one. So is being a Cop, Teacher, Lawyer or any profession that allows the person to receive praise from a lot of different people and have access to vulnerable individuals. Once you learn about the traits, you will be able to spot them, even though they develop a False Self that they use as an outer shell to the world. Under the False Self of magnanimity they are insecure, filled with shame and self loathing, and any little thing can cause a Narcissistic Wound and cause them to attack. The attack is way out of proportion to the situation at hand, they seek to destroy the other person completely and don't stop with their attacks for a very long time, if ever. They fear exposure more than anything in the world, so exposing them is pretty much the worst thing you can do to a Narc. They will come up with elaborate schemes and devise all kinds of ways to try to hurt and isolate a target, even using others as "flying monkeys" (people who believe their stories and then try to hurt or disparage the victim, the word is derived from wicked witch in The Wizard Of Oz with her helpers, the Flying Monkeys) to try to hurt an individual they've targeted. I know WTF was going on from 2009-2013 when I was doing events at that time - my partner and I were up against a Narc Pack. I kept wondering 1) how on Earth these individuals got the pomposity to believe that they belonged in any type of entertainment since they had very little personal resources such as talent, interesting or beautiful looks, or anything that are the basic normal requirements. Now I know - they were Narcs, so therefore believed they deserved adulation even with hardly any skills, talent or looks. and 2) where they got the energy to keep coming at us for 4 years straight. Apparently Narcs only know when they are being deprived of Supply, zombie like, and go after the target mindlessly and brainlessly, flying in the face of reality, using all kinds of complicated schemes like manipulating others to do their dirty work. It's astounding how many people will believe stories from men and women they don't really know. Some of them just enjoy the process and agree to help destroy someone or something because they are also sick, and some genuinely believe the bad stories. So, it was a very interesting lesson to see most of the people I knew reacting to the situation. Now I know who is vulnerable to being recruited by Narcopathic attacks and who is not, on an intimate level.

Wednesday, August 17, 2016

Healing from NYC

Hi Everyone,

I just though I'd update you all on some stuff about my life.  In March of 2013, I got really sick from moving into a new apartment in Queens that had been heavily dosed with pesticide.  But the truth is, living in NYC AND having a diet that was wrong for me had been gradually wearing away at my health since I moved there.  After almost 2 decades in NYC, I moved to a cottage on a beautiful 5 acre property 75 miles outside NYC in order to detox, heal my body and learn to eat according to what my individual body needed.  It's been a long journey.

The first thing was to detox out all the pesticide, car exhaust and other poisons, mold and other things I had encountered since moving to NYC. I had been forced to live in substandard apartment buildings in the borroughs that had not been properly maintained, due to the Bohemian District of NYC that had been in the East Village being dismantled.  Your body is like a sponge, it can absorb toxins UP TO A POINT.  When it is fully saturated, that is the "tipping point" when you fall ill. But it has actually been building for a long time previously.  There are many ways to get the toxins back out of the body, such as sauna, exercising and sweating, drinking fresh vegetable juices, and the use of "binders" like Chlorella.  I learned to do all this and more.  Clearly, all those years of buildup will not be taken care of in just a few months - after a year of living in the cottage, I was still not fully healed.

One of the problems I had developed was the beginning stages of asthma.  This is clearly detrimental to a singer and bodybuilder like myself.  I have now reversed asthma and have no further problems breathing or singing, and run easily.  It took about 16 months.  When a problem like this reveals itself, it is essential that you take time off from whatever you were doing in order to reverse the disease process.  Being on "inhalers" and so forth is clearly unnacceptable to the body and unnacceptable to a health concious individual.  I now need not a single medication and have zero problems, just as I was before.  But it took a lot of research and time to figure out how to solve the problems.

I also had to learn what diet and supplements my individual body needed.  This took a lot of study and sifting through a lot of information.  Diet and supplementation is NOT "one size fits all".  I drew heavily from The Weston Price Foundation, Drs. Gonzalez, Isaacs, Beard and Kelley for information on traditional diets to formulate my perfect diet.  Now I eat a lot of surprising things such as highly purine meats like beef and lamb, Bone Broth made of these animals, organic grass fed butter and cream, sardines and herring, seaweed, and organ meats!  In NYC I had been lead to believe that I should live on vegetables, chicken and tofu.  This weakened my body and nervous system considerably over the years and caused me to have "brain fog".  In the past I responded to weight gain with "going vegetarin or vegin".  Although this caused me to drop several dress sizes, it weakened my skeleton, muscular system and nervous system.  I was teetering on the edge with a really weak body when I moved into the pesticide and mold apartments.  It's no wonder I had trouble.

In NYC it was difficult for me to run, due to street harrassment and nothing but pavement to choose as a running surface.  Because of this, I had only done Eliptical and Yoga, etc for many years.  I had to re-learn how to run and correct physical problems that I now call "Urban Joint Damage" using Pilates and Gymnastics moves.  It took almost a year before I could actually run again.  This was one of the most scary experiences because here in the USA, women need to be able to run.  It's a dangerous place and running is one of the most basic things you can do to defend yourself.  There are lot of people in NYC who have lost the ability to run, and that is very unfortunate for them.

These were by far not the only problems I experienced from living for an extended period of time in a heavily Urban environment, but they are examples of all the things I've been correcting in the past year and a half.  I'm happy to say that I joined my first Ballet Barre class in the past week, and added that to my exercise programme of Pilates, Running and regular calasthenics.  I will soon be starting Voice and Acting again, as the area I now live in has excellent classes.